


Disorganized Crime

by aam5ever



Category: Game Grumps
Genre: Drug reference, Drug trafficking, M/M, Rare story
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-23
Updated: 2016-06-26
Packaged: 2018-05-15 15:44:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 17,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5791264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aam5ever/pseuds/aam5ever
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Barry has always been one to be by his friends. He sees them as people that are open with everything. However, when Barry finds out about a secret that could not have been more unexpected, there's little to nothing he can do but go along for the ride.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A work in progress, but new chapters will be coming. Working as soon as inspiration strikes!

“Hey, Ross. You look like shit.”

Barry couldn't help but say it when his friend walked into the Grump Space. Ross looked over with bags under his eyes and it seemed like he hadn't slept in days. In fact, that’s exactly how it looked. Empty coffee mugs and unhealthy “energy” drinks littered the man’s desk from days before. Ross seemed to add to the mess every day he came to work to keep himself from falling asleep. Barry couldn’t figure out how Ross still found the energy to keep his heart pumping, but he never questioned it. His vitality was deemed endless, even if he currently looked miserable.

“Shut up.” Still, he managed a small smile while settling down in his chair. The other man couldn't help but notice how uncomfortable he looked.

When Barry tried to ignore it, he couldn't. From the corner of his eye, he saw Ross’ blue eyes scrunch up and heard the small grunt when shifting. Maybe it was a bad night’s sleep? Whatever it was, it bothered him personally. The grimace on the man’s face didn’t seem to fade, which only added to Barry’s concern. “Ross, are you-”

“Morning, guys!” Ross’s face changed when he looked up at Arin, who looked chipper. He seemed to have barged into the room radiating with light. He moved a strand of hair out of his face, which was glowing with some sort of satisfaction. It wasn't too uncommon to see this, normally Arin’s good mood was passed onto them as he made small conversation, but Barry noticed Ross’ small roll of his eyes. Arin did as well. 

“Somethin’ to say, Ross?” He asked teasingly with a small, knowing smirk. It was the same ‘Try it, I dare you’ look that everyone gave everyone at some point during the long work day. Barry was puzzled by this, but kept his mouth shut.

The Australian man shook his head, mumbling, “Prick.” before turning to his computer. Barry ignored it and waved at Arin as a silent greeting, and his boss waved back before disappearing behind a wall corner. The editor figured he was just going to check on some recording equipment, and got back to browsing the internet. He needed some new headphones, anyways.

The Grump Space was a murmur for the morning, with sleep in everyone’s eyes when they shuffled in. Everyone except Kevin, at least. He seemed to be every bit as normal as Barry. The two editors were fine as ever, but the others were a bit... run down.

Still, the show must go on. Barry didn't move much except to refill his cup or to go talk small business, since the day was, for lack of better terms, boring. The chill frost of upcoming winter made Kevin head for the window to close it, and everyone thanked him for it. Muffled noise coming from either the Grump Room or the headphones or the other small offices didn't do much to make the scene any less extraordinary. However, Barry never said this was bad. Today just felt like it needed a bit more of something.

Wordlessly, Barry pondered the earlier weirdness to himself. He managed to both do this and edit the Steam Train episode meant for uploading in three days. Around him, people were starting to get more lively. Wasn’t it just a week ago where Dan came in belting out the entirety of Under the Sea? It was a fact that usually they were lively even before noon. Whatever kept them all up last night must have been interesting. He didn’t want to seem bitter for being kept in the dark about whatever these events were, but curiosity grew and slight annoyance of not being told simmered inside him.

He chose not to dwell on it too much, since he did take off early last night. Something could’ve came up after he had left that probably took all night for the lot to solve. Turning on soft music in the background of his editing, Barry smiled to himself and hummed as the chorus came in.

After a few minutes of thoughtless productivity, he felt a presence nearby. It felt like someone was eyeing him, but he couldn't see who. Barry didn't do anything at first. When the feeling didn't go away, the editor shed himself of his headphones and turned quickly. Ross barely got a chance to avert his eyes and pretend to work. “Were you staring at me?”

“What?” Ross pretended to be innocent, but the shame he felt from getting caught caused his face to turn pink. His voice raised in octave. “No way.” He claimed playfully. Barry didn't have a doubt in his mind that he was only trying to annoy him.

He shook his head at his friend, and a small blush crept on his face. “Mhm, yeah.” Scratching under his chin, Barry couldn't help but spot the way Ross’ eyes flicked back to his for only a moment and tried not to let the simple action get to him. “Sure...” He saw the way his cheekbones were defined to a T and noticed... the purple wounds appearing right before the neckline of his shirt.

Did he need his glasses or something? Barry didn't even realize he had been staring a bit too long until Ross cleared his throat. “Oh, sorry. I...” What was his excuse for staring at his friend too long? What he thought he saw couldn't have actually been there. And he can't just go and pull his shirt down- well, unless-

“No problem, man. You alright?” Ross asked sincerely. “You just looked spaced out for a minute.”

Barry nodded and grinned awkwardly again. He was no stranger to that. “I was, sorry.” He sat back down and got back to work, trying to ignore his embarrassment. The worse part was that he couldn't even play it off.

Even by nightfall, he didn't understand what he saw. It didn't bother him as much now; Barry knew better than to trust something seen only for a split second. No, the only thing bothering him is why the Hell he forgot his phone in the Grump Space. He had made it all the way home, gotten in the house, took off his jacket, and sat down before patting himself for his phone. It was a no show because of his terrible awareness. At least Barry was sure no one would steal it.

“Who forgets a phone? Apparently I do.” His mumbling was constant all the way back to work. Getting the keys, he opened the door to it and closed it behind him. It did so softly, as if not to wake the masses. Who exactly was he going to bother? 

“Listen, just back the fuck off, alright?” 

Okay, maybe there was someone to bother.

Barry nearly jumped out of his skin hearing the voice. It sounded like Arin, and that he couldn't dispute. The time of night contradicted to who should be here in the first place. The answer was this: not a soul is ever here so late without notifying the others. Slowly, he tiptoed down the entrance hallway and saw light pouring into it from the main area. It was faint, and he heard Arin’s voice once more. He tried his hardest not to make any noise, body tense and heart beating rapidly. 

“You're playing with fire, man. You know what we can do. Why Goddamn risk it?” 

It sounded so unlike Arin. There wasn't a hint of a friendly tone left in his voice. It was harsh and intimidating. Barry felt a bead of dread and worry build in his core, eyes widening as he took small steps forward. Who was he talking to? What about? 

These questions were soon answered when he peaked around the corner and saw a scene unlike any other.

A bag of money, unzipped and full of the green stuff, was placed haphazardly between them all. ‘Them all’ referred to Danny, Arin, Suzy, and Ross, all with guns in hand pointing at unnamed men with unnamed origins. The men looked like goons out of every action movie stereotype. They had scars and tattoos and just the perfect black coats to illustrate them as the bad guys here. Everyone’s eyes were hardened, jaws set. This was serious business, Barry could tell. He could also tell that a man’s eye was trained right on him.

“What the Hell?” He sounded like someone straight out of Brooklyn, his heavyset accent still not as frightening as whatever voice Arin had. “Who’s that?” Suddenly, all eyes turned to Barry, who was barely peeking out from the corridor.

It was, needless to say, the most unsettling situation Barry has been in to date.

The Grumps all looked mortified; they hadn't even fathomed this ever happening. Even with these looks on their faces, the other men were unconvinced of anything other than an unfair standoff. “You’ve got more gunmen coming to do your dirty work for you?” He then made a move to shoot the nearest person. His polished pistol was dead set on Danny, who didn't even move a muscle. “You fuckin’-”

Barry jumped and let out a shout when blood splattered on the wall behind the man who was just put down. From then on, chaos erupted throughout the building. His ears rang and he ducked for cover near Ross when a bullet nearly caught him in the arm. It was a lot of noise and such little time, and Barry just tried to scramble away from the mess of crimson and corpses falling to the floor. The Australian above took note of where Barry was and was wary of where he was stepping, signaling Suzy to get the money. “Sammy, let’s go!”

“Sammy? Who’s-” Barry barely had the time to ask questions before Ross grabbed his arm and started dragging him to the threshold.

Barry stumbled to his feet and rushed to the door, hearing more gunshots while escaping outside. Fresh cool air of the night hit him like a brick, and he hadn't even realized he’d been sweating in there. “Wait Ross, what's-”

“We’ll talk later.” He tossed Barry his phone, who fumbled to catch it. His pistol was out of sight. “Dial Suzy and tell her to meet us at Spot C.”

Not knowing what else to do, the man followed his friend’s orders. The phone was calling when Ross jumped into an unfamiliar car, waving Barry over to follow. He slid into the passenger seat. “What the fuck-”

“Hey Ross. Which spot?”

“Suzy? Shit, um-”

“Barry?” Her voice was immediately worried. “Barry, where's Ross?”

Ross then leaned in to say, “Right here.” before starting the ignition. He didn't say another word, punching the acceleration a bit harder than he should have. They reached sixty, creeping to seventy when on the highway.

Still frazzled beyond belief, Barry could barely repeat Ross’ location. “Oh, i-it’s Spot C...? I don't know what that means! What does it-”

“Calm down!” Suzy shouted over the phone. She seemed to finally be leaving the scene, and Barry could hear Danny and Arin in the background. “Guys, you took care of the bodies already?” Dan must have nodded, because she responded to silence. “Okay good. We’ve got... a situation here.”

Barry blanked for a moment. “Situation?” He saw Ross glance at him before cracking a small smile. His eyes reflected the lights of the hallway, which passed in blurs of yellow. Finally, Barry understood. “I’m the situation?” His night wasn't exactly going as planned, yet for some reason, this was the one that pushed it over the edge. “I-I just came to get my phone and I see some sort of organized crime-”

“Okay, that's not true.” Arin seemed to have taken hold of Suzy’s phone. “We’re anything but organized.”

“Cut it out, would you?” Suzy was heard in the background. 

There was a skirmish over the line muffling someone’s speech and the frantic mess of Barry’s mind scrambled to figure out what was said and who said it. Barry soon realized that it was Dan. “He’s freaking the fuck out!” 

 

He couldn't help but agree. “No shit, I am!” With his voice raised, Barry rubbed his face and groaned in a way that resembled a scream. Ross knew that sound without a doubt, having heard it so many times. It was the sound of a breaking patience. “Can someone tell me what the fuck is happening?”

“Fine.” Ross looked over for a moment before focusing on the road. He rubbed the part of his shoulder that Barry had been eyeing earlier. “When we get there, we’ll explain it all.”

Dan came back over the phone. “Everything?”

“Yes.” Suzy’s voice was heard loud and clear. “Everything.” The line went dead.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry may need a minute.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this story may be lengthy, but I'm trying my best to write ahead so I have freedom to post whenever. I hope you enjoy!

The smell of alcohol and dust hits Barry before he even walks into the shady bar. Barely anyone is there, and the people that were stared at him when he came in. Ross didn't pay them any mind, but Barry couldn't help but do so. A woman no older than twenty five eyes him, makeup smudged beyond belief as she sips from her cold one. A man with salt and pepper hair, eyes clouded while sizing him up and raising his glass to gulp down the brown sludge in it. There was also a bartender, wiping his shaker and shaking while he did it; he was the only one afraid to look.

Barry would be too if he only knew what his friends did.

“You alright?” Danny was suddenly beside him, and he jumped. “Woah, guess not.” A small chuckle came from him. He sounded calmer than what Barry heard over the phone. His chocolate brown eyes locked with Barry’s before he pointed to the door on the left. “Right through there, alright? Ross and the rest of us will be there in a minute.” The tone was careful. He was afraid of spooking Barry even more than he was.

Knowing nothing else to do, he nodded and went to the door. It made a horrid sound opening and creaked until it closed. Barry’s eyes adjusted to the lack of light, and the room he was in still held that old scent in the air. It was mixed with some fruity smell, as if someone tried to mask the musk with air freshener. For some reason, the thought made the man smile.

There were couches, red but fading. The coffee table in the middle of the three of them was littered with papers, scribbled on and crumpled over and over again. It also held some dirtied shot glasses, but Barry didn't question it. All he could do was wonder if this room belonged to his friends and whatever fucked up antics they got into.

Just thinking about it made his stomach drop, so he tried not too. Instead, Barry continued to analyze the room. There were no windows, and the walls were cool gray stone. There was a tv, small but good enough, in the corner of the room. He realized that there were lights, and switched them on. Above, dusty light bulbs turned on and illuminated the rest of the room. A pool table was right near the couches, along with a humble fridge. There was a metal closet, and next to it were duffel bags full of things Barry was sure weren't legal. He took a deep breath, inhaled the stale air, and let it out slowly. Surely this couldn't be as bad as he was thinking, right? 

The door opened again with that terrible noise, and in came his friends. They all had their eyes trained on him, and then Arin said, “Let’s go sit down.”

Sitting on the couches, they all shared looks of concern before finally saying anything. “We know this... this is a bit surprising.” Arin told him at first. “It's been going on for a while, all this. Getting into this business wasn't exactly on purpose, either. It would be a lot easier if it was, believe me.”

“I don't know if I can.” Barry found his voice. It came out harsher than he intended, but now he didn't care. “Believe you, that is.” The others were quiet and obviously thinking over what he said. 

Ross spoke up. “If you don't believe us, there's only so much we can do.” The others looked at him incredulously, but he stood by his word. “We went into this together, and when we did, we vowed to keep you out of this. Kevin, too.” Dan nodded in silent agreement. The tension between Barry and the rest of them was palpable as he shifted in his seat and rested his elbows on his knees, folding his hands. His eyes were focused on Ross’, his gaze unwavering. “It's something we didn't agree on-”

Within the moment, Suzy interjected. “Ross didn't want you getting hurt. We were afraid you'd find out in a bad way, and wanted to tell you...” She then shrugged with a guilty expression. “I guess it happened anyways.” Barry was surprised to hear that from her, knowing that usually Ross wasn't into keeping secrets. In fact, none of them were. How did they keep this from him for so long?

It was a question he kept to himself. Instead he asked, “What do you guys... even do?” When there was no answer, he pressed once more. “Is it really bad?”

“I guess...” Dan rubbed the back of his neck nervously. “Is drug trafficking bad?”

“That's literally one of the worst things.”

Arin then tried to cover their backs. “Listen, it was one slip up a few years back when Suzy accidentally saw some guy kill another in the business. She didn't know what was happening and then suddenly we were roped into this.” He saw Barry’s expression change from annoyance to complete disbelief.

He furrowed his brow. “You're telling me Suzy... saw a guy kill another guy...” She nodded to confirm this. “...which got you three into some sort of d... drug moving thing...” Ross and Arin both looked at each other worriedly as Barry continued to try and piece this all together. “...and now somehow you guys have been doing this independently without Kevin and I fucking realizing?” This was too much for him. Barry could barely comprehend it.

“Well, in our defense,” Suzy began. “our original leader got killed. Arin had to take the reigns.” 

That was just unbelievable completely to Barry. “Arin hasn't touched a drug in his life.”

“Still haven't!” The man said proudly. His smile was genuine as ever. “Still never will.” 

Dan couldn't help his giggle. “Okay I can see how that's astonishing.” Next to him, Arin hit his shoulder. It only made him laugh more.

To them, this wasn't too surprising. Barry still was having a hard time. “Do you need a minute?” Ross asked, and Suzy looked over at him and waited for an answer.

Without another sound, Barry nodded, Suzy scooted over so he could lay his head on the arm of the chair and close his eyes. Maybe if he took a rest before opening them again, this would all go away. He’d wake up at home with Dan in the other room, snoring like a chainsaw.

Unlike the movies, that's just not how this shit worked. He realized this especially when he heard Ross whispering to Arin about their “other negotiation” and “Mark getting better pistols”-

“Wait,” Barry sat up immediately when he heard that. “Mark’s in this too?”

Sheepishly, Ross nodded with a smile that meant to look comforting. All Barry did in response was groan and put his head back down. 

Danny looked at him with a frown before facing Suzy again. “Do you think he’s going to be okay?”

The woman wasn't sure herself. Her friend was having a tough time understanding this all, and Suzy remembered when she was forced to. She reminded Dan of his first time down here. “You weren't exactly happy about this either, remember? In fact, I distinctly remember you almost crying when you saw a gun on the coffee table.” She giggled when Danny struggled to defend himself.

“I was scared shitless, okay? Derek was an asshole, and he pointed that fuckin’ thing right at me!” When Suzy was still giggling, he rolled his eyes. “Shut up, you got us here first.” 

All four of them decided to give Barry a good few minutes while they discussed other things. Dan talked about Brian and his new idea for a NSP song while Suzy talked about her sister first watching KKG. They were so natural about it while Arin went to the computer desk near the pool table. He was looking over the news, and then clicked over to some messages he managed to snag from Ross hacking into a rival trafficker’s computer. He glanced over the numbers and then called Suzy over. “Look at this.” He pointed at a few thousands of dollars. “If we got a hold of this money but pushed him less than what he’s asking for, maybe we can divide it and put some out for higher sale.” 

She seemed skeptical. “That’s tricky. Ricky barely wanted to give us the money we just got and we gave him exactly what he asked for. Who’s saying this guy isn't gonna do the same?” Her husband nodded in understanding. He had to hand to Suzy, she used her head a bit better than he did sometimes.

From the couch they heard Barry get up. All of them turned to look at him, and saw his expression was trying to stay calm. “Hey, uh... can someone take me home?” 

Dan volunteered. “I need sleep anyways.” He said goodnight to the rest of them and walked out the door back into the pub. Barry could hear his name mentioned right before the door shut. The only person there was the nervous bartender, who dared to glance up at the two. Danny’s grin only made him stare back down at his counter again.

They got into Danny’s car and drove off. Unlike Ross earlier, Dan seemed to obey the street laws. Other cars whizzed by at the late hour, and they switched onto the highway quicker than Barry remembered. “How’re you feeling, Barry?” Dan asked without looking at him.

This was one question he struggled to answer. “I... I don't know.” He then told Dan, “I felt like something was up earlier. You guys were really tired today...” He didn't mention the bruise on Ross’ shoulder, but could guess what it was from now. “But this... holy shit, I didn't expect all of this...” It was true, and Dan felt bad that Barry had to go through all of this. His mouth twisted as he digested his friend’s words.

“We wouldn't have, either.” Was all he could come up with. A few minutes of silence passed before Dan started up again. “Don't worry too much, okay? Just because you know doesn't mean you're a part of it. No one knows your face but us. We...” He took a minute to think about what he was going to say. “Our involvement in this wasn't a choice, and it's hard to get out of now. You don't have to be in this.”

“But what if you guys get hurt?” Barry voiced. He saw Dan’s mouth twitch when he said that “And... and if I'm not there to prevent that, but knew all this was going on, what kind of asshole am I?” There was no way he was going to sit idly by and play dumb now.

Nonetheless, Danny wasn't sure about that. “You can't just join us and...” The man trailed off, because Barry could do just that. He could join them to protect them. Isn't that what Dan did this for? He had left out that Suzy and Arin were the only ones in deep until Ross and Danny swore to help them through it. Barry could pull the same thing. “Fuck man, I don't want you throwing away your life like we did.” 

Barry shook his head, he wasn't going to leave his friends to do this alone. Although Dan’s voice was filled to the brim with true emotion, he wouldn't let it sway him. “You didn't throw your life away.” He sank into his seat and looked out the window, sighing. “It's just... a gamble now.” Danny stayed quiet on that. He loosened his grip on the wheel, and relaxed his shoulders. Sometimes Barry knew just what to say, even when he was under the most stress.

When they reached home, Barry was opening the front door when Dan put a hand on his shoulder. He looked over and was enveloped in a hug. It shocked him at first, but he melted into it and wrapped his arms around his roommate as well. 

The warm gesture was the only comfort Barry got for the rest of the night. It was impossible to get through. The screams of those men in the Grump Space replayed again and again in an endless repeat while Barry tried to sleep. His eyes closed, and he watched the blood splatter on the wall, saw Dan throw Suzy the bag of money and her catch it like it was nothing. Ross’ yelling from the last night shocked him awake, opening his eyes to darkness. The red numbers on his clock indicated it was only 4 A.M.

He rubbed his face and sighed to himself. The clock couldn't tick by any slower as he tried to sleep. There was no use; thoughts kept flashing through his mind. Way too much has happened. 

It bothers him relentlessly. The bed sheets were suddenly too scratchy, the pillow too warm. He kicked off the blankets only to feel too cold, but didn't bother to wrap himself in them again. Instead, he sat up and put his head in his hands. Trying to sort out your life at four in the morning was no easy task. 

That lack of rest came back to hit him hard when he really had to get out of bed. Dan had knocked on his door to remind him to get up. “I'm awake!” He shouted out to let him know. The knocking ceased.

Coffee was his lifeline right now. That's all he could think when he shuffled into work, his brew made before entering the building. Suzy looked over and a smile was on her face. Barry tried to smile back, but right now his mood was black and blue with dull gray all over. She saw him struggle to do so, and refocused on her computer. It was a signal that she understood.

Collapsing into his seat, Barry yawned and wiped his eyes of any leftover sleep. Blinking his pupils into focus, the editor moved to turn on his computer. Something buzzed to his left, and slowly he looked over. His phone lit up with quite a few messages. 

The first contact he checked was Ross. His relentless crush on the guy was still intact, even after all of this. Even after seeing the things he did.

Hey, are you okay? We’re worried about you.

Barry? You're probably sleeping, aren't you?

Look, I'm sorry you had to find out this way. You still don't have to be a part of this shit show. I promise.

I just want you to be safe. 

“What's that?” Kevin looked over at him, seeing the upset look on his face. “Barry? You alright?”

“Huh? Oh,” Barry put down his phone, face down. Kevin saw the action but didn't question it, thinking it was personal. Barry’s fingers hung on the cool surface of his desk. “yeah, I’m alright. A bit out of it today is all. Morning.” He realized he hadn't greeted him earlier. The greeting was returned by the time Barry was reaching for his headphones.

They were barely on when he saw Ross come in. Barry wondered what time he went to sleep last night, and concluded it was about the time that he did: never. He also wondered how his friend’s shoulder was fairing. Ross looked at him, but Barry didn't break eye contact. The only time he waved was when Ross did it first, although a bit tentatively. 

It dawned him about half an hour later how clean the place was. Spotless, actually. No bloodstains, no bodies, no stray dollar bills... just a clean wooden floor and an energy drink from Ross’ collection suddenly tumbling to the floor. Barry blinked when he saw it go crashing down, a bit of the drink that was left leaving dots of liquid on the ground. Ross looked down at it as if surprised that it hadn’t stayed, and went to pick it up and place it amongst the others.

Barry stood and immediately went to his desk. Within those mere seconds he had built a vendetta against those cans. It was because Barry knew just why he needed so many. “This is just fucking ridiculous.” He dead panned while gathering them all up. They were empty, just as he suspected. “How can you live in this mess?” In honestly, Barry wasn't sure which mess he was talking about.

Even then, Ross shook his head and stood. “It's not that bad, is it?” After seeing the look on Barry’s face, he mumbled, “Okay maybe it is that bad.” Taking some to lighten his friend’s load (and mood), they both went to the recycling bin by the kitchen.

Barry dumped the cans and he was about to leave when Ross abruptly grabbed his arm. His light eyes studied Ross’ face, and he gently took his arm back. “What is it?”

“Are you okay?” His friend asked, sincerity etched into his features.

Barry nodded, knowing damn well it was a lie. The concern was appreciated, though. “Yeah, I am. I just... can I come with you guys? Tonight, after work. I want to... understand some things.” He said it, not knowing if he meant it. This was the only way to find out just how cut out he was for this. 

“Sure.” Ross repeated it as if checking with himself. “Yeah, sure. If you want to be in this then...” He bit his lip, trying to suppress the worry rising. Even if Barry felt bad for forcing himself into this, he made his choice. “Then I’ll tell the others.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr: aam5ever  
> Send me an ask!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's get you up to speed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is to explain the rundown of everything Barry has to learn. In a few chapters, action kicks up!

The buttons of Barry’s jacket came undone as he entered the pub once more. There were more people. A man was attempting to sweet talk the girl from the night before, and she didn't seem to be interested. At least her makeup was cleaner this time.

The door closed tight behind him and Danny once they entered. Arin looked up, and over at Ross. The Australian man could only shrug before glancing at Barry and walking over to talk to Arin. He himself couldn't hear the conversation, but instincts informed him it was all about him.

Suzy was the one to approach him first. “So...” She looked him over, as if analyzing his posture. Barry felt nothing less than uncomfortable, but nothing more than terrified. It turned his stomach, but he could fake a tough act. “You're really with us.”

“Yeah, I am.” He folded his arms and nodded. His friend bought what he said and smiled.

She took his arms in her hands and forced them down. “No need acting like some sort of stiff guy, Barry.” Her words were meaningful. Then, Suzy took his hand and guided him to where the other three were talking quietly. “C’mon, we need to teach you how things work around here.”

The first lesson he learned was that they all looked out for each other during every deal. Vigilance kept them from any accidents, and selflessness prevented any selfish behavior. Barry couldn't imagine any one of his friends being selfish, but he guessed that money and a way of life as complex like this can turn a guy into whatever he wished.

“Another thing you need to get is that... well...” Ross cracked his knuckles and didn't look Barry in the eye. Dan got up to get something in the closet, but Barry didn't pay attention. 

He waited for Ross to finish his thought, but the man couldn’t just yet. “What? What is-” the loud bang of the gun hitting the table made him gasp. That, and the appearance of it in the first place. “Shit, I... do I...?”

Finally making eye contact, Ross said, “You have to learn how to use a gun.” The blank, pale expression painted on Barry’s face made him crack a smile. “I know, intimidating. You’ll get used to this shit eventually.” He leaned over and picked up the unloaded pistol, pointing it directly at Barry. Arin gave him a warning look as Ross stared unblinkingly at his friend, whose heart still raced at the sight of the thing. Then Ross said, without even squeezing the trigger, “Bang.” 

Barry still jumped slightly. 

“Cut it out.” Arin took the gun from Ross with a small laugh and placed it on the table without much care. He then gazed at Barry and wondered about how he felt about all this, with his blue eyes darting around to look at all of them. “Want something to drink?” It was a gesture to try and help his friend relax, and before letting him speak he was already opening the refrigerator door. “We’ve got water, Fanta, vodka, Coke, wine...”

At the list of refreshments, Barry raised an eyebrow inquisitively. “That's a pretty strange list.” He then requested, “Just water, please” before taking a minute to breathe and remind himself that he got himself here. Barry stole a few seconds to close his eyes and work up his nerve before looking back at all his friends again. “Okay, I need to learn how to... use a gun. What else?” They were all surprised at how quickly he was trying to learn. 

While Arin was walking back to the couches, Suzy thought about what else he may need to know. A quick look at the pool table reminded her. “We have negotiations, meetups, and sometimes midnight parties. They're usually with very wealthy people, and with that comes a lot of pressure to keep up a good face.” He tried to follow along as she explained, sipping from his water bottle now and again. Barry hadn't realized how dry his mouth had been until then. “You've also gotta keep a good eye on who our target is. Shit can go down really quick, and no one wants anyone getting hurt over a bad deal.”

“Bad deal?”

“Some people get... antsy to give up what they've got.” She explained briefly. “What you saw last night, that was a bad deal.” When Barry heard that, it felt like icicles tapped along his spine. It made him shift uncomfortably on the couch. 

They all told different parts of some essential tips for working how they did. There were almost never any innocent bystanders. Trust no one but them. Don't tell Kevin. It can be hard at first, getting the swing of surviving with a bit less sleep and a bit more violence. Barry picked all of this up at they went along, and finally he said, “I think... I think I understand.” All of his friends gave him patient, comforting looks. The cold of the room made him shiver, but otherwise, he felt better by a degree.

“I'm glad you do.” Arin grinned at him. “Especially since we have an event coming up.”

Dan seemed to be surprised by this. His brow furrowed before saying, “We do?”

Suzy nodded, leaning back into the couch. The cushion was soft enough to let her sink into it. “Yep. Ricky’s little enemy invited us personally to a party coming up. It's supposed to be pretty big, in his house north of here. Though from the looks of it, it's more of a mansion.” The woman licked her dry lips before looking at Barry. “I don't think you should come.”

“Why not?” Ross asked, a questioning look on his face. 

With a tiny moment for thought, she said, “Way too risky, and suspicious.” Barry could tell she was completely serious about that accusation.

Arin nodded, but then defended the idea of him attending. “It's a big party. You think he’d pull something?” They all looked at him, not knowing how to answer that question. “Listen, whatever the Hell he may want to do, Barry can scout out the party and get a feel for it while we deal with it. No one’s gonna know his face. None of Jeff’s enemies are going to end up finding out he’s with us.”

“But what if they do?” Barry jumped to ask. 

None of them were ready to answer that. Ross decided to voice his own opinion. “I've got the same feeling Suzy does. If we let Barry go, it's more people to account for. This is too early for him to come with us.”

They all then got quiet. Barry sat there, absorbing everything they were talking about. Parties? Negotiations? Enemies and guns? It all was getting to his head, and suddenly it felt like he couldn't be in here anymore. “I- I have to step out.” He heard them call his name, but all he could do was nibble on his lip nervously and exit the room.

The bartender saw him exit alone, and wasn't afraid to stare. Barry walked over to one of the stools and sat, putting his head down. His head began to pound, and he expect nothing less. Maybe he should have reminded them of the phrase ‘easing into it’. However, there was no doubt that he’d still end up where he was right now; a bar maybe wasn't the most ideal place, but it was as clean and cheery as his mood.

“Two waters, please.” A familiar voice requested. It was casual, but obviously direct with what they wanted. Without another word, Barry could tell the bartender was filling the glasses. They landed on the counter near him with a hard clang, and he twitched and moaned as his head aches. A warm hand rubbed his shoulder. “You alright?” That question’s been popping up lately.

Each time, Barry had pretty much lied. Now, he couldn't care what they thought as he voiced how he really felt. “No, Ross. I'm not fine.” There was a small pause for him to take in a breath. “I barely know what's going with you guys, what to think of all this shit, how to handle it all, and where to even fucking begin with learning how to use a Goddamn gun and become a trafficker while you guys are-”

“Hey, sorry to interrupt,” Ross leaned in close to talk to him, breath tickling Barry’s ear. “but I can only hear about half of what your saying. Also, what I can hear is kind of illegal to say in public.” When he didn't get an answer, Ross added, “Even though right now you probably don't care.”

All Barry could do was sigh and bring his head up, resting it against his palm. “Sorry, I'm... having a bit of an episode right now.” Ross pushed the two glasses towards him, and he gave him an odd, tired grin. It was the first real smile for the day. “Isn't one for you?” 

Ross shook his head. “I figured you’d need them both. Not like it's alcohol or anything, but at least this feels more like a shitty sitcom.” They both laughed, and Barry took a sip from one of the glasses. He raised it eye level, mocking a cheers.

“To me, not figuring out what the fuck is goin’ on.” With a chuckle, Ross picked up the other glass, and they clinked in the dim bar light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr: aam5ever


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To go or not to go?

The rest of the week went on as bizarre as the past two days. Work like usual. Home like usual. Bar... it was a new location that Barry had to familiarize himself with. He wondered why they called it Spot C when it was their first meeting place. 

The question tickled his tongue, wanting to come out. There wasn't any true significance to it. Just a puzzled, questioning mind. When Barry asked why they called the small, back road pub that, he expected some long explanation or at least a story of some sort.

All he got back was, “Code name.” from Suzy.

Although disappointed, her friend recalled something else to lightly interrogate her about. He looked around at the others, who were crowded around the computer and talking shady work, before asking more. “So do you guys have codenames? I heard Ross call you Sammy that one time.” Suzy nodded with a small laugh.

“Yeah, actually.” She then pointed to herself, and went around the room. “I'm Sam, Arin’s Adam, Ross demanded to be called Roy, Danny claimed Denmark, and...” Her index finger landed on Barry, and he smiled nervously. She scrunched her mouth up to one side and made a thinking sound. “I guess that makes you Bartholomew or something.”

Immediately, he shook his head. “That's way too long!” 

“Bart?”

“Lame.”

“B... Buh...”

“Burnie!” Dan called out from the other side of the room. “Just call him Burnie!” The other two nodded, along with Barry.

All the woman could do was shrug. Obviously there was a unanimous vote. “Yeah. Burnie.” Putting up her hoodie’s hood, she shivered. There was no heater in this cold room, and with winter on its way, they could only expect it to get as cold as California could get.

What keeps jarring Barry is just how much information they have to withhold. Usually, he felt like everyone in the Grump Space was so open. That was the atmosphere that the man adored; free, fresh air that held no secrets. All Barry could think of now was how this place was where his new understanding all began. This was where he found out Arin and the rest of his friend knew how to use guns. 

When will he have to?

Just thinking of holding the cold killing machine made a bad taste appear in his mouth. Barry took a small sip from his water bottle at his desk, trying to focus on his editing at the time. It was the day after he asked about those code names. The video in front of him was of Bloodborne, and he heard Dan and Arin’s voices stutter and flow as he paused and cut and stitched together the parts that were supposed to be organized. It was like reflex work by now. However, Barry still knew he couldn't just get carried away in his thoughts, who knew where they would take him. There was a speck of darkness in a corner of his head, and the editor needed to keep it there before it could make things any worse than they need to be.

A new problem began to emerge within him, as well. At first, a microgram of guilt turned into a bead of it. Then, it evolved into a baseball and a bowling ball and now just looking at Kevin made Barry nervous. Secrets never settled well in the pit of Barry’s stomach. They always festered, just like they were doing now. Kevin was probably one misadventure away from finding them out, like Barry was.

“It's just...” He tried to explain what it felt like to the leader of the team of criminals. The only way he would have ever told him how he felt was if Arin pulled him aside himself, which he did once he noticed Barry stammering to Kevin like a four year old child. “I feel like I'm lying to him. Either that, or being kinda shady, y’know?” The man couldn't help but mess about with his fingers. Whether it was cracking them or folding them over each other constantly, it was always something. Anything to make this a bit easier to say.

Focusing his eyes on Arin’s, he waited for advice. It took a while for Arin to come up with any. “There's no doubt that this can be tough. You have think about this though: if we told you or Kevin about this shit, it would rope you two into it. I don't want Kevin going through what you are.” His frown made Barry’s face fall. It was heartbreaking to hear just how much the other four didn't want their editors getting into trouble with them. 

With a small nod, Barry cast his gaze downward and folded his arms close to his body. “I know you just wanted to protect us...” He said to Arin’s shadow. It made him suddenly think of all the fans back home. They had little to no idea what really happened in the Grump Space after the cameras shut off. Just thinking of how much they didn't know was astonishing. Then again, there was some things kept forever hidden. 

The warmth of Arin’s hand on his shoulder caused him to look up again, his string of thoughts breaking. The man was smiling, a small hum of understanding coming from him. “Don't worry about it, okay?” He then shifted to a more joking tone. “Besides, now we’ve got less people to protect and more to do the protecting.” 

Those words stuck with Barry. ‘More to do the protecting’... but could he handle that onus on him to perform just like they do? Very little experience with what his friends handle would limit chances of that ever happening.

His kitchen seemed like the only place in this world when he got caught up in his thoughts. He wandered around it, shuffling with naked feet as the fridge’s sound kicked on and cut off at whim. The cool feel of tile didn't phase Barry, nor did the noise of the dishwasher. All he had been focusing on was just what shit he was getting himself into.

It was obviously illegal, immoral, unjust, and just the thing to get them in jail. Trafficking drugs wasn't usually on his mind, but now it seemed to be all the man could even bother to think of. Even with all of these consequences... Barry still wanted to stick by his friends. How? There was no way he could tell anyone how. Truly, it felt like the right thing to do. The most troubling part was just where to begin understanding just how to help them.

At least, it was until he figured out just what he could start with. 

Once he entered Spot C, Barry closed to old door behind them and looked at all his friends. They didn't pay too much attention to him until he spoke. “So, when’s that party again?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr: aam5ever


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe this is just what he needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know, I'm really liking this fic. It's turning into one of my favorites to write. Also, this chapter is pretty long...

It took two and a half hours for Barry to get a formal invitation to the party. If you asked him, he’d say this was a bit of overkill for this decision. Ask anyone else, and they'd say they need to rethink it again.

Nobody seemed to agree with Barry at first. He was underestimated and overruled for the first ten minutes, until Arin inhaled his pride and saw their editor’s point of view. Suzy was taken aback by this. “Really? What about keeping everyone safe?”

“Suzy, Barry is a part of this now.” Her husband tried to persuade her. All Barry could do was listen to what his reasoning for agreeing with him was. “We have work to do. It's work that Barry can attend, but not get involved in!” Arin threw up his hands, as if showing them all his ingenious idea that had actually been burrowed in the back of his mind for a while now. 

Even with this to chew on, there was a stronger favor for Barry staying away from the party. That is, until Suzy finally joined. Her friend’s point of wanting to learn and be useful was what swayed her, along with Arin lingering at Barry’s side. Then came Danny, utilizing the Fuck It Adjustment. While it wasn't exactly the reasoning Barry was hoping for, it now put the spotlight on the possibility that he may just be going.

The extra hour of debating that pushed this argument into the very early morning was all because of Ross. He was adamant in Barry not setting his foot in any mansion. The steadfast nature wasn't something too unnatural when it came to Ross’ personality, but usually he liked being on Barry’s side. Even on Steam Train, the decisions were never split down the middle of the two. One always prevailed with the other following. Barry could only assume that this was what the business did to people, especially with lives and money like this at stake.

Money... Barry never really took a moment to think about the cash put in and depending on these deals. How much have his friends been able to get a hold of, and what did they do with it? He shook his head to himself while his friends talked over this party for him. This wasn't the moment for thinking over more complex questions when one was still being thrown around.

“Ross, you jackass, why not let him go?” Dan asked with a bit of amusement in his tone. Out of everyone, he seemed the most calm about it now. “It's not going to be as dangerous as you think. Besides,” He then lowered his voice and spoke in a playfully stern tone. “haven't you been in worse?”

Just hearing that made Barry’s nerves tingle. The amount of bullshit they must have went through to get them here had to have been bad. He knew they've been at it for a while, but it still made Barry worried about them all. No one ever asked how they held up after all this time.

He almost was too consumed in his thoughts to catch Ross’ reasoning. “W-well Barry is new. We can't just... I know you all are- you guys think he’ll learn but like, what if something happens?” Or lack of reasoning.

Suzy glanced at Arin, who shot her the same sideways look before looking back at Ross. He blushed a faded shade of pink when he saw what they did. “I think you should just give into this, Ross.” Arin calmly told him.

With a defeated sigh, the man mumbled, “Fine.” like a spoiled child. Finally, they had come to an agreement. Just in time, too; Barry nearly fell asleep right where he stood. 

The drive home was serene. Dan yawned, his voice distorted as his mouth opened wider and wider right before shutting slowly. Slow music from the nineties droned on as Barry stared outside. Vibrations from the car combined with the dark outside illuminated by split second passing street lights put him right to sleep. His cheek pressed against the cool sill of the door window, and his mouth opened slightly while the outdated song played. 

Danny stole a glance at his friend, who was dozing and entering deep sleep. His couldn't help but chuckle slightly, keeping his tired eyes on the road. While the car was steadily making its way home, Dan couldn't help but wonder just how the Hell the same guy sleeping next to him had ever ended up sharing this secret life with them. In another universe, maybe it wouldn't bother him so much. 

Whatever this upcoming party held, Barry's only concern was that it was safe. He expressed this to them the following night, and all of them assured him it was in their own way.

“It's okay, your fear is totally valid.” Danny said with a grin. “It's all safe.” 

Suzy took a different approach. “If this wasn't all thought over, then we wouldn't have let you.” 

It curbed any takeover of shaded, darker thoughts, if only by a little bit. He couldn’t exactly say he slept soundly at night; there was no use lying about it. 

Work seemed like the pseudo home away from home. In all honesty, it always was beforehand. However, the place felt like somewhere for Barry to retreat to after nights in that dank room listening to a few of his best friends discussing drugs in the corner of the room or how they’ll get large sums of money from one Californian city to another.

Every time he sat in that office chair, it bounced slightly with the weight of what felt like one thousand hushed words. No matter what Barry tried, thinking of what may or may not happen on that fateful party night always distracted him.

This wasn’t something that Ross didn’t notice. He noticed the off stare into nothingness Barry adopted from time to time, witnessed him snap in and out of conscious work and reflexive editing. Ross himself was drawing some concepts for something on his channel, but just couldn’t get Barry’s behavior out of mind. It felt like it would not be right to, anyways.

After an hour or so of this going on, Ross stood and walked over to Barry’s desk. He leaned over, and saw that his whisper made Barry blink rapidly and focus on him. “I know something is bothering you. Do you want to talk about it?”

Talk about it? Barry hadn’t really talked about how he was feeling ever since he decided to join them. “No, I’m alright.” To assure his friend, he smiled as nicely as he could. When it occurred to him just how close Ross was, the stray strands of hair caught in light eyelashes with beautiful blue eyes that stared-

“You sure? You look...” Looking for a better word, all Ross could settle on was. “Red.”

Barry’s cheeks stung now, and he turned back to his computer. “I’m fine, okay?” He said over his shoulder. “I have work to do.” Hopefully he didn’t sound as flustered as he felt.

With all these doubts and worries, with every concern listed in his and everyone else’s head, with no experience besides what his friends told him and helped him understand... 

The show must go on.

That's all Barry could think when he shrugged his black jacket on. It fit almost loosely, while the vest underneath was snug if he buttoned every button. Hey, it's a formal party. He thought while fastening the last button. Might as well go all in.

Danny was getting dressed just in the other room. The days had passed quick enough to drone on, but not fast enough to make Barry unprepared. By now he had his own earpiece to talk to them through, an idea of what was going down there, and enough careful rewording of the phrase “It’s going to be okay” to last him three lifetimes.

Oh, and a gun. 

This didn't stop his hands from having a slight tremor while they attempted to tie a tie. Every time he tried it was either too tight, too loose, or just plain wrong. Barry finally gave up and went over to Dan’s room with a sigh.

His roommate answered within two knocks. “Hey, you ready already?” Dan gave him a quick once over. “Pretty much. Damn, you're fast.” Barry looked over Danny’s shoulder and saw his shoes and suit jacket still on the poorly made bed. 

“What, were you taking a nap or something?” He asked in good humor. “It looks like your sheets had a boxing match with your pillows.”

Dan laughed at that. “Yeah, they're reenacting fucking Mike Tyson’s Punch Out.” He then acknowledged the tie hanging loosely out of Barry’s hand. “Need help with that?” When he received a small nod, Dan chuckled once more. “No need to be so bashful. C’mere.” Inviting Barry fully into the room, he instructed him to turn with his back facing Danny. He handed the black tie to the man behind him, who took his time. “You nervous, Bar?”

“A little.” Well, maybe that was a little bit of a lie. “You?” 

“I was sweating God damn buckets the first time I went out with the others.” His fingers worked the tie nicely. Everything was going neater than Barry could have ever accomplished. “You're lucky your first ‘assignment’ is somewhere as public as this. Less probability of getting shot.” When Barry tensed, Danny pat his shoulder with a free hand. “Joking! Well... kinda. You're not gonna be anywhere near the actual transaction. Just have fun tonight.” When he was done, he stepped back and let Barry face him.

Once he did, Dan said, “I’d say relax, but you probably heard that a lot ever since you got into this shit.” 

Barry simply nodded in response. It was a command beginning to lose its meaning.

Driving to Spot C was the same as always, except not. Anticipation hung like an apple in the air, ready to fall into hands awaiting. No one could tell you if eating it was worth it, if the aftermath was going to be sweet or sour. You just had to take the chance. Barry did, and now that apple is hanging low and heavily from that struggling branch. 

It was silent all the way to the pub. Everyone had vacated with the exception of that one lowly bartender. He looked down as Danny and Barry waltzed in, feeling dressed to the nines and looking as sharp as their footsteps sounded on the vacant bar’s wooden floor. 

When Barry hung back, Dan looked over his shoulder. “What's wrong? Having second thoughts?” He messed with his hair to get it out of his face. Even with the frizzy afro framing his thin face and the suit on such a skinny body, Danny still looked good.

“Not exactly. I’ll just... hang out here for a bit.” He didn't want to hear the drug talk before heading out. It just would spook him.

As an alternative, Barry took a better look around the bar. The shelves, old and wooden, were stocked with more dark liquids and alcohol that always came with a punch. The stool chairs were made of chipping wood and upholstery that wanted to not be comfortable anymore. The booths, even though few in numbers and little in size, were the same case. Tables were wooden and looking perpetually scruffy, aching for a much needed scrub, polish, or downright replacement. On the walls was a game of darts. Three out of five of the darts seemed to have something crusted brown on the metal spike parts, and Barry refused to think about what caused it.

As always, the bartender was there, slightly shivering in the cool of the stale pub’s air. It startled Barry when he spoke up. “You’re new.” He sounded no older than thirty, but looked no older than twenty five. 

“I am.” Barry took a seat at the bar. He noticed how dead on the man stared at him. “Guess that’s why you’re not scared of me.”

“Scared? Never of you.” He then laughed as if it was the funniest thing he’s ever heard. “You don't know what the fuck you're doing.” Then, with a voice dropped in volume, the man said, “If you saw what your friends could do... how they killed and stole and tortured-”

There was no way this guy knew what he was talking about. “Listen, I don't think you have a right to say all that. They're good people!” It wasn't just Barry sticking up for his friends here; he knew that they just wouldn't kill if they weren't threatened themselves.

“Humph.” The man rolled his eyes. “Same thing the tall one said. What was his name? Danny, right? When he was new, and I told him, he said they'd never harm a fly. Now he’s harming more than fuckin’ flies. I've seen them, with my own eyes, disfigure and break and yell and murder.” With the defiance and building anger in Barry’s eyes, the bartender scoffed. “Like you’ll believe what I say.”

Barry was trying his best not to. “Just give me a drink, would you?” 

With a small shrug, the offending man took out a shot glass and filled it with water. He slid it across the short distance of the counter, and it bumped against Barry’s arm before settling to a stop. “Cool off. I'm not the only one saying this shit about those people.” When Barry got up with frustration setting his jaw and furrowing his brow, the bartender smiled with his mouth of yellowing teeth.

The others were just about to gather stuff and leave when he walked in. It took effort to wipe the annoyance out of him, but he tried his best. Ross had a bag slung across his shoulder, and next to him Arin was loading a pistol. The sound of it sliding into place was something Barry just had to get used to hearing in real life. Sounds of it going off was another thing as well. 

“Ready?” Suzy asked him with a kind smile as she took inventory of the powdered goldmine in Ross’ bag. So that's what that was all this time.

Better he didn't know beforehand, or else he’d be a bit more freaked out. “Yeah.” Barry answered before holding the door open for them. 

Arin grinned at how calm Barry was being about all of this. He’d have to compliment later, though; there was a job to be done. “Let's fuckin’ do this then.”

Ross had Barry in his front seat and the entire deal in his backseat. The sleek black car they chose must have been a result of this secret life. It was way too lofty in appearance to be something just out of the kindness of a viewer’s heart or backed by a donation stream. They drove a path that took a little over an hour to take in order to reach their destination. While Ross drove, Barry stole glances at him. He was relaxed, smiling even. 

Eventually, the Australian man noticed. “How you doin’, B?” 

“Oh, I’m... I'm good.” Barry lightly lied. “Yeah. Fine.” A few more beats of silence passed before Ross said anything else.

“You know... the reason I’m so worried all the time is that I don't want to be another drug dealer’s story.” When Barry seemed to have been lost to that statement, Ross explained further with a sigh. “I don't want to be the person who got in over their head, went too far, and lost their loved ones.” It made sense, but why choose now to talk about it? Ross flexed his pale fingers on the steering wheel, headlights showing a desolate road except for Suzy’s car up ahead and a few behind. His shoulders hung tenser by the neck. “Just... when I stay safe, I mean it, okay? Anything can happen. Like when you walked in on us and... got into everything.” The tone of his voice was saddening. 

Barry longed to hug him close, promise his safety. Unfortunately, he could do neither. Instead, he reached a hand over and massaged Ross’ right shoulder back to its relaxed state. Now it was his turn to say not to worry. “I’m going to stay vigilant, alright? No way would I want anyone in harm’s way, especially not myself.” He giggled at his own joke, and Ross did as well.

Before they knew it, the house was right in front of them. No, not house; that word just isn't extravagant enough to capture the magnitude and beauty of this fucking mansion in front of them. Ross pulled up, said something into the intercom of the towering gate that Barry just couldn't hear, and it opened with a creaking that seemed fit for a queen. 

“S-shit...” Was all Barry could say. The pool outside had people swimming around in the wealth. The architect of this place must have cried at their own work. Sweet scents filled the air as the two men got out of the car. Behind them came Suzy, Danny, and Arin, ready to take on what they needed to. It seemed like this wasn't their first time seeing a sight like this.

“Well then,” Arin took a few steps forward before beckoning everyone else to follow. “let’s go join the party, shall we?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr: aam5ever


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Party time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M A MESS.  
> I can't believe I didn't post all my chapters that I wrote! I'm posting them soon, and trying to write more. I was on a bit of a hiatus.

The music was reverberating in their bones. Tight suited people served drinks of various drinks, sizes, and amounts of alcohol. Some danced with class, while others preferred the wild side of intoxicating party vibes. Manic eyes paired with beautiful faces. Tailored shoes danced amongst the frill of skirts and smudged make up with wide smiles. Everyone was on the drug of choice: freedom.

Navigating through the thicket of bodies sometimes felt like sneaking through a flurry of brick walls. Barry managed to squeak by two lovers embracing like they wished to maul each other and a man nursing a drink he shouldn't have taken. Who knew such a clean cut house could hold such filthy guests? 

Suzy reached for his hand when he looked lost. Barry took it like the lifeline that it was, and was guided towards a side wall. His eyes saw people playing poker and blackjack, wagering and gambling. He witnessed a party goer slip something into the jacket of a another, a whisper passed down the line, hands holding others more posessively than lovingly. This place was no place for a good heart.

They worked their way around together. Barry had lost sight of Danny and Arin, and when he asked, Suzy said, “They probably already found their way.” She lead him to a door, guarded by a man who was stoic and intimidating. Instead of being scared, the woman asked directly, “Jeff’s behind this door, right?”

His voice was low with base. “Who’s askin’, exactly?”

“Sam.”

The strong man’s expression changed. His thin lips managed a small, suspicious smirk as he moved aside and opened the door. “You're the last one on the meeting list.” His beady eyes wandered over to Barry. “Who’s this?”

She didn't miss a beat when he asked. “Nobody to care about.” Then, with a caring look, Suzy slipped behind the door and disappeared as it closed behind her.

Barry stood there awkwardly for a few moments, unsure where to go or what to do. The guard stared at him, as if daring him to say a word. Without much guidance, Barry slipped back into the congested crowd and tried to fit into the controlled chaos.

It was difficult, being alone in such a mass of people. The music continued to play, the same beat to multiple songs. It was a nonstop thump of the base. As a butler passed by, Barry stopped her to take hold of something clear in a martini glass. She shuffled away as he drank from it, and felt it burn as it went down his throat and pooled in his stomach. Way stronger than he expected.

Suddenly, a girl rubbed her shoulder against his. The look in her eye was drunk with yearning. “Hey there... you look a bit lonely.” Her dress was cream colored, contrasting nicely with russet skin. She was beautiful and looking for a good time in the wrong place.

Barry’s blush crept up his neck. The woman grabbed his arm, more for support if anything. He couldn't deny her allure, but also was not interested. His mind rested on someone else. “Do you need to sit down?” He asked kindly.

“Why would I? I-I’m perfectly fine.” She dragged out ‘perfectly’ as if the exaggeration would plead her case. Guiding her, Barry helped the woman sit down on an open chair in the corner of a way-too-ornate family room. “The name’s Sharleece. Why didn't you ask?”

“Funny you ask that,” Barry slowly undid her fingers from around his wrist. “because I was just about to introduce myself. The names B... Barry.” There was no use using a code name; Sharleece looked far from sober just enough so that his name would fade away within the hour. 

When he tried to leave her to relax there, she shot out to catch his jacket sleeve. It jolted him, sending him stumbling back and looking back at her. “Can I have a kiss from you, Barry?” Her words seemed a bit more put together than only a few moments ago. 

With a nervous laugh, he wasn't sure how to answer. “Do you really want to go around kissing strangers?” 

All Sharleece did was raise a brow in response. It basically read, Isn't that what parties are for? She pulled him closer, her smile both mischievous and innocent at the same time. How that could happen was lost to Barry. 

Throwing caution and common sense to the wind, he fulfilled her wishes. The kiss was nothing to call home about, but also something that could easily turn into something more. Barry couldn't say it wasn't pleasant, but when the woman seemed to want a bit more, his lips parted from hers. “Uh, I’ve gotta- I hope you have a good night!” And with that, he left her there.

Sharleece smirked as he went back into the throng of noise. Crossing her legs, she contemplated his name. Barry... maybe Jeff needs to hear about that name.

The night continued oddly. Whether is was a man coming up to him and asking for a dance or the sight people arguing over something arbitrary, Barry couldn't deny it was fun. Yet, in all this fun, he couldn't help but keep Suzy’s advice of staying vigilant close. No one seemed suspicious, except for people who obviously worked for the house. 

Just as Barry took a seat at the bar on the patio, his earpiece seemed to spring into static life. Did they turn theirs on purposely? He hadn't heard anything before, so that must be the case. “Hey, you don't want to raise your voice like that, man.” Arin’s own voice was steady.

An unfamiliar one was yelling. “I’ll do whatever the fuck I want when you cheat me out of my money! Who do you think you are? I’ve got people to cover, costs to Goddamn pay!” 

“And you will pay them if you take the deal.” Ross... he sounded cold. His words were iced with warning. “Listen, it's just a transaction. You've got the money, we have the supply-”

“You don't have all the supply I asked for, dumbass!” The same voice ranted. “You and your band of assholes are gonna cut me a short deal and make out with more money than this shit is worth. Where is this coke from anyway? Guatemala? Probably cheap as fuck.” He was obviously angry about what they're trying to arrange. They must have turned on their earpieces so Barry could know if the deal goes wrong. If anything goes wrong... how could he help them? 

This wasn't any time for questions. It sounded like things were getting heated over the line. He heard more yelling, no from more than one person. Whatever was going on couldn't be good. It was scary to hear, so Barry slowly got up to make his way to where they were. Hopefully he was being paranoid, maybe they would all calm down, surely-

The sound of a gunshot through his earpiece made him stop in his tracks with a jolt, along with the sound of mad scrambles. Barry saw the door with the guard nearby burst open, Suzy coming through with the black, sagging duffelbag slung across her shoulder. Behind her was Arin, helping Ross out the door. He seemed to be having difficulty, and Barry’s heart was racing enough as it is. The party goers started to scream as guns came out of nowhere and gunshots overpowered the music. Barry felt the crowd surge towards exits, most of the people in here without a death wish of any kind.

Feeling people grab and push and pull, the man could barely realize who was touching him until she screamed his name. “Barry!” It was almost directly in his ear, so the man had to look back. Sharleece looked at him, seemingly unperturbed by the commotion around her.

“Cmon, we’ve gotta-”

Before he could express the need to leave, she let him go and disappeared into the now thinning crowd. Another hand grabbed his jacket. “What are you doing, man? Let's get the fuck out of here!” 

It was Dan, and he nearly caused Barry to trip over his two feet while he pushed him along. Dan took Ross’ car with Suzy while Arin pulled Barry into the passenger side of his own black vehicle. 

They were peeling pavement before the man could really get all of his bearings. Winded, Barry finally spoke up. “Wh-what happened?”

“Bad deal.” A voice he didn't expect came from the backseat, causing him to jump out of his skin. Looking behind him, the sight made a stone drop in his stomach. “Very bad deal.”

“Ross, are you...” The blood coming from the leg he was pressing his palm to proved that he was not exactly in the best shape. Although he was in pain, Barry could see Ross struggling to keep from looking so. 

Arin answered for Ross before he could. “He’s got a bit of a graze. The bullet didn't get him.” It was then that Barry got a chill from neck to spine, right down to the tailbone. Ross’ blue eyes were trained on the back of Arin’s head. They were glaring. 

It was as if Arin could feel it when he said, “Look, I had no idea he’d react like that. It was a gamble.”

“We don't take gambles for a fuckin’ reason.”

The driver sighed, pushing the pedal a bit past seventy. Barry didn't comment on it. He was just focused on Ross’ hurt leg. “I know, I know. I got greedy, and didn't consult you guys about it. I'm so sorry.” It must have sounded genuine enough, because the gaze softened until Ross looked back at his injury. 

Barry, with his heart pounding a little less thunderously, spoke. “W-what happens now?” 

“What happens now is...” Arin thought over his response. “We just move onto the next buyer, but let's not talk about that right now.” They drove in silence for a few minutes. The sky was pitch black, stars barely out. Dried bushes on the side of the road passed in blurs. Finally, Arin chuckled out of place before saying, “But did you see how fuckin’ red his face got? I bet he was just having a shit day.”

From the backseat, Ross managed to laugh a little at that. “Yeah. It was like a tomato.” The two giggled together like it wasn't over a man wealthier than the entire company of Game Grumps. Like they couldn't have almost died. 

Like Barry wasn’t internally freaking out beside them over this.

When Arin looked over, he seemed a bit pale. “Hey, Barry. Are you-”

“Just...” Barry interrupted him, eyes pointedly staring at the empty road ahead. The car was silent except for the low hum of the working engine. “Take me home.”

They did so, and once the man got to his room, the exhaustion kicked in. He slowly stripped off his jacket, peeled off his pants, tossed the gun he was given to the corner of the room. His shoes went north and south, undershirt east and common sense west, and Barry found himself unconscious before even hitting the bed. Dreams became engulfed in darkness disguised as contentment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr: aam5ever  
> Shoot me an ask!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the escapades of the night before, everybody needs some time to cool down. Barry needs as much time to heal as Ross.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in one day? Well, this it what you guys deserve for being so patient with me!

He woke up to a weekend well deserved, and an early afternoon. A little over noon, the birds were squawking outside before flying away to other houses to bother. The cool air hit Barry’s skin and raised goosebumps as his eyes opened. There was a small possibility of him forgetting all of yesterday if it wasn't for the gun in the corner of the room.

Making an inhuman noise, the man stretched on his bed before sitting up and wiping his eyes of sleep. Barry's head pounded in response to the events of last night. In addition to this, there was an unidentifiable brooding feeling coming on. 

It lingered as he got up and tried to clean up the mess he made the night before. Tie in the drawer, shirt in the hamper, gun... on the bedside table? Holding it still felt off and uncomfortable, so he wasted no time leaving it there and hoping Dan could help him understand exactly what to do with it. The uncommon feeling Barry had voiced itself with a low growl.

Maybe he was just hungry. 

There was nothing to do but shuffle to the kitchen and search for food. A bagel, scrambled eggs, anything would do to ease the grumbling in his complaining stomach. A note was left on the microwave, stuck to the door. Barry took it and read with bleary vision:

‘I went to Ross’ to see how he is. You're welcome to meet me there. Later!’ 

It was signed by Danny, with a quaint heart drawn next to the words. Ross... oh God, how was he? Thinking about it made Barry’s head hurt more. He couldn't have been too hurt. There wasn't anything fatal or too damaging, according to Arin last night. Even with that thought stapled to his brain, Barry couldn't help but think about the pain Ross must me in. The small moment they shared in the car before the party came back to mind. In over their heads... was that what they were?

Shaking the idea out of his thoughts, Barry just continued to make a simple breakfast. Toast and coffee would suffice; it was warm enough to stop the chill he had constantly in his body ever since he woke up. 

It felt like a year since last night. That feeling was something Barry just couldn't shake. As he finished his breakfast, the man wondered just how well Ross was taking his injury. Maybe he could just...

Get used to seeing blood, Barry. He thought to himself. This won't be the last time. No use trying to avoid seeing Ross. The idea of seeing him injured in any way hurt, but ignoring the issue was downright rude.

Anticipation churned the man’s stomach as he drove to Ross’ home. Random muscles ached from last night, but his headache has dissipated into a faint thump. Random memories popped up from the night before. Loud music... the sound of Suzy’s heels... Sharleece... wait, Sharleece?

“Wonder what happened to her.” He thought to himself as the light turned green. Slowly, he eased into a comfortable speed once more. Of all the party goers, she stuck in his mind. The last Barry saw of her was in the thick of bustling and rowdy civilians, smirking before he could find her again. Maybe she made it out alright. Just maybe.

Ross’ house came into view, and Barry pulled into the driveway. He recognized Arin’s car immediately. Guess he wouldn't be here alone.

As soon as he reached the door, Arin opened it for him. “Hey, come on in.” He gestured inside and Barry couldn't help but laugh.

“What are you, the butler?” Barry asked with a chuckle. They both laughed about it, but once he crossed the threshold his laughter died in his throat.

Holly stood in front of him, glass of water in hand, eyes wide in surprise. She then broke into a smile while he still looked a bit lost. Roommate... Barry had forgotten about Ross’ roommate. 

It was almost lost to him that Holly had to have known about them. There couldn't be any secret about what happened to her friend. At least, that's what Barry speculated. “Hey, Barry. You feeling okay?” She asked with her usual friendly tone. Taking a sip of water, the woman then said, “Ross’ll be happy to see you.” Then Holly quickly added, “He always loves visitors!” 

Her way of speech was warm and always made Barry want to give her a big hug. Instead, he settled with, “Thanks, Hol.” There wasn't much more he could say before smiling at her and seeking out the man of the hour.

The man he was searching for wasn't laid up in bed or even anywhere in his bedroom. Instead, he was in the living room on his laptop. “Hey, man. How're you feeling?” This wasn't exactly what Barry expected, but he couldn't complain. If anything, it made him much more comfortable seeing Ross like this.

Suzy was next to him, speaking about something in a hushed tone. She looked up and waved, and Barry returned the gesture. The Australian man finally brought his eyes up and a grin found its way into his features. “Barry! I was wondering if you’d come visit your poor, injured friend.” He actually stood up, placing the laptop on the clean and dusted coffee table. 

Orph, Holly and Ross’ combined effort to have, walked past and treated every newcomer with mild disinterest. Barry noticed the cat’s sideways glance as he passed idly by, but was more dumbfounded by how easy Ross made it look to have a temporary bullet wound. “You can stand?” 

“Of course I can.” Then, when he saw Barry’s concerned look, Ross explained, “It doesn't hurt too much, and I've got a bit of experience with pain.” He then folded his arms and sheepishly looked away. “Guess I can't go get shit done for a week or two, though.” It took a minute for Barry to realize he was talking about his night job. Everything was taking Barry a bit too long to register.

Taking the opportunity of little response, Suzy got up and made her way to the kitchen, where Holly and Arin were. The two men left standing there took comfortable seats, and Ross resumed whatever he was doing on the laptop. It was getting warm on his lap, proof of overuse.

Barry spoke up after a few seconds of silent thought. “I didn't know Holly knew about all this.” He then laughed shyly at his own ignorance. “I kinda forgot she was here. I'm guessing she wanted no part of this when you told her.” 

Beside him, Ross nodded. “I wouldn't let her get into it if she tried, anyways. Like I did with you.” More quiet followed that sentence. Barry thought about what he said, and wondered just how much Ross cared. It seemed like his friend had much more heart than he anticipated.

“You've... been shot before, right?” 

“Mhm.” He then smirked. “I've been shot the most, actually.” Although he didn't mean for it to sound cocky or proud, it came out as such. 

All Barry heard from that was nothing but unnecessary pain. “Why?”

The question made Ross pause what he was doing. He looked over at Barry with a quizzical expression. Sporting a cocked eyebrow, he repeated, “...why?”

“Yeah.” Barry shifted on the couch. “Why do you always end up being the one getting shot?”

A grim look took over his friend’s face. Was Barry overstepping unwritten boundaries? There was barely any to ever begin with, but now everything was so... different. Ross managed to settle with, “I dunno, it just... happens.” There had to be more to that, and Barry knew it.

He continued to pry. “Doesn't it fuckin’ hurt?”

“Less than seeing other people getting shot.”

The answer caught Barry off guard. Ross cast his eyes downward and tried to steer away from the topic. Clearing his throat, he asked, “Hey, could you call Arin for me?” He then smiled mellowly. “Also, my fridge is open Goddamn season if you're hungry.” The expression in his bright blue eyes basically begged for Barry to stop asking all of this right now, and the other man just had to obey the sorrowful look.

As soon as he left the room, he heard more typing on that laptop’s keyboard. “Hey Arin,” Barry called for him. “Ross needs you.” Daring to look back, he saw the sandy brown hair ducked down to focus on his bright screen. 

All Arin did was nod before going to join his friend in the living room. Barry was left with the ladies, who both had an overwhelming aura of comfort that he never could ignore. “Well, what brings you around here?” Holly playfully asked.

“Nothing more than your idiot roommate.” The answer back was just as jokingly delivered. He then decided to take the time while he had it to ask some questions. “So... did you help patch Ross up last night?”

She nodded, Suzy studying them intently with her eyes. Throughout all of this, the woman always was the one who kept a careful and watchful eye over Barry. He knew just as much. “I kinda forgot you had to have known about all of this. That's why I froze up at the door.” He laughed it off.

Holly did too, mainly to make him feel more at ease. Everyone was humoring Barry. “Yeah, I noticed. Didn't mean to spook ya.” 

“Yeah, I know.” His grin was becoming a bit strained, his mind lingering elsewhere. Even when she noticed, Suzy remained quiet. “When I was talking to Ross... he mentioned how he ended up getting hurt the most.” Both of the women immediately took on an uneasy expression.

To his right, Suzy spoke. She seemed to know more about their band of friends than Holly ever could or wished to. “Yeah he... he does. It's because of the shit we get into. He’s so quick to take a bullet, and...” The distressed way that Holly folded her fingers and bit her lip made Suzy trail off. Barry himself felt stones barrel down to the pit of his stomach just thinking about Ross damaged. It was a marvel that they were all able to keep these secrets for so long. “I don't want you worrying, Barry. Arin’s talked about it with Ross more than once. It's fine now.” However, that twitch of her struggling grin and immediate downcast of her pupils indicated otherwise.

Disturbing the matter any more than he has would just upset everyone more, so Barry quit while he was ahead. “Was Dan here earlier?” He decided to ask. The note on the microwave was almost completely forgotten until now.

Holly was quick to confirm. “Yep. He left only an hour ago. Said he had a ‘date with Brian’, so it's probably Ninja Sex Party stuff.” It was practically guaranteed to be just that.

By two in the afternoon, Barry was ready for some alone time. He said his goodbyes to everyone, and left Ross for last. There was a reason for this.

“Best for last, huh?” Ross poked fun at him. He had tried to put their conversation out of his head, even when he knew Barry was one to dwell. That trait could be good for some things, but awful for others.

Barry rolled his eyes, struggling not to raise the corners of his mouth. “I guess you can say that.” Leaning in, he then said in a quiet manner, “You have my number, talk to me when things get tough.” No response meant that Ross knew exactly what he meant. With a firm pat on the shoulder, Barry left the house and began making his way to his own.

Winter was his favorite season, but this winter felt like a bitter cold rather than a pleasant chill. Tingling warmth was replaced with a hollow hearth, a hole where comfort used to be. Hot chocolate helped marginally and Barry fixed himself one as soon as he could. Calm quiet morphed into screaming silence, which Barry escaped with a droll TV. Even that couldn't drown out thoughts that just wouldn't quit.

If someone died, would they continue Game Grumps?

How long did they expect Barry to keep this from the world?

There had to be a way to calm down about all of this, right?

All of those questions couldn't be dignified with an answer. If they were, all it would do is open the floodgates to an influx of prodding inquiries.  
Simply having those in mind worried Barry. He prayed they'd go away, and as he flipped channels, found something bearable to watch. Time to forget about all of this for now.

Hours passed before Dan got back home. He had a few groceries on his person, which he brought to the kitchen while crossing in front of the television. “Hey, Bar. Honestly, I expected you'd still be in that bed. You were like a fucking rock golem.” Barry understood the reference, chuckling at the thought. A giant rock monster, attached to that bed. It's how he felt this morning. 

“Well, I went to visit Holly and Ross earlier. You left before I got there.” He saw a small change in Danny’s expression before he disappeared into the kitchen.

From there, he made sure he was heard. “I’m glad he’s alright this time.” 

“This time?”

Dan paused for a moment, realizing the slip of his tongue. He hastily covered it up with, “Yeah, like usual. That guy’s got tough skin.” Barry wondered how he developed that. There was always a certain wit and certainty about everything Ross did, yet that was no excuse for not worrying about the guy. It could all just be an act that covers up God knows what. In all truth, Barry didn’t want to know more than he could handle.

The man could only finish off his cooling hot chocolate and continue to distract himself. “You look less comfortable than you think you do, y’know.” Dan informed him as he passed by again. Hanging up his long, cream colored scarf, he then asked what was bothering him. 

It was hard to express what he felt right now. There was very little anyone could do about it. Still, the heartfelt way Dan gently asked made him compelled to answer truthfully. “I... I’m not sure. Just worried, I guess.”

“Worried or scared?” Danny’s question made Barry think. Before he could say anything, Dan continued. “It’s not like you’re fear is irrational, man. Just say what’s on your mind.”

The first question that he thought of before came to mind, and he knew he could say that. The second one was the same thing... and the third. “This is harder than you think.” His friend frowned when Barry said that. It’s not like Barry to keep how he felt to himself, but everything he wanted to say just wasn’t right to say out loud. 

It was now Danny who seemed troubled. “Dude, we’re all here if you need us. Just... take your time.” That wasn’t what Dan wanted to say to him for sure, but Barry was sure the other option was him cracking Barry open like an egg until an entire mess spilled out. Avoiding that was crucial. At least, until he could calm his mind and breathe more comfortably. No reason to frighten everyone with harrowing details about just what fucked up thoughts rattled his mind. 

Still, it felt bad seeing Dan looking sad about not being able to help.

“It’s okay, Dan, promise.” Barry said to him. “I’d tell you when it isn’t.”

Hearing that brightened his friend’s face a little bit. “I’m glad. Are you coming to the bar later?” They must be talking about what to do with what they got the night before.

That party was enough action for the week for Barry. “I’m just staying home today. I partied too hard last night.” To make a point, he stretched his limbs with a grunt. Some of them actually were a bit tired and sore. He wondered if he would get used to being tired from now on.

One thing he’d make sure of is that he wouldn't have a damn messy energy fest on his work desk like Ross did. 

At night was when the dark really got to him. That was when he answered the questions in his head, and his prediction was right. They just kept coming relentlessly, practically suffocating him. This was only after his first job; there was no way Barry could be as ready as he believed he was. The man desperately wanted them to go away, rubbing his tiring eyes and trying to find anything else to do. Play his DS, read, watch Game Grumps... nothing worked for more than a few moments. Maybe he should talk to someone.

His fingers was halfway to pressing on Ross’ contact when the man himself called. The ringtone went once, and Barry wasn't sure if he should answer. Twice, and he contemplated if Ross actually needed something important. The phone was answered right as the third ringer was sounding.

“Hello?”

“Barry, I...” His heart aches when he heard a sigh, as if it was full of defeat. “I wanna talk.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr: aam5ever


	8. Chapter 8

Working was going to be a blessing and a curse. It's a blessing due to the freedom of being locked into his editing and filing and whatever the Hell he had to get done. A curse sat right behind him, editing as well.

Kevin was a good guy. He had a quaint life of an editor and freelancing employee, but lived comfortably with people who loved him and friends who’d die for him. Literally. 

Knowing that last fact reminded him of last night’s conversation with Ross, who was suspiciously absent today. There were way too many things he had to keep track of not blabbing out to the wrong company. Barry could barely stay on top of it all, afraid of toppling over into a deteriorating sanity. Hopefully this didn't show in the bags under his eyes, since sleep mostly eluded him for two nights straight. 

Rubbing those same eyes, the man yawned as if it was eight in the morning instead of two in the afternoon. The cool of the workplace made Barry shiver, but he knew that turning up any thermostat would mean a power struggle between an unstoppable object and an unmovable force. Instead, the man warmed his hands by rubbing them together and stretched them to prevent any cramping. Barry noticed Suzy approaching out of the corner of his eye, and spun around to greet her. Behind her, Jack the intern walked idly by.

The woman waited until he was out of earshot to speak. “Tonight we’re going to Spot C. Holly said she’ll drive Ross there and wait in the bar. Wanna come?” He had been absent from their ‘meetings’ since the night of the party, and was still uneasy about it.

“Sure.” Feeling obligated to be informed, Barry agreed to go. “Do you have any idea what to do next?” 

Immediately, she nodded. Her hair flowed down from her shoulders, and Suzy moved a straggling strand from her face and combed it behind her ear. “Yeah, but we don't think you’ll be up to it. This shit can get kind of... it's not that you...” All she could settle on was a sigh. “You may not be on board with it, so don't worry about doing it with us.”

Barry wasn't exactly sure what Suzy meant by that. There was a small nuance of him that wanted to help as much as possible, but an overwhelming need to stay out of it like she advised. Whatever it was, it must be shady. 

Curiosity was gnawing at him, so Barry asked what it was. “Is it another deal?” That was a given, but he hoped she’d elaborate on it.

She did, saying, “Yeah, but they'll be coming to us. If they come to Spot C, then...” There was a moment where Barry finally understood before she could explain fully. “They can't walk out of there after knowing our hideout.” 

“Oh.” It was all he could respond with. Just thinking of what his friends may do to prevent that made his heart skip and his mind wander back to what that bartender said. Barry prayed that it wasn't as bad as that man said, since he was a prick that Barry just didn't want to believe. Refused to believe.

So why was he second guessing that man’s thoughts now?

Suzy smiled as if to reassure him that this upcoming deal would work out fine. “Don't worry,” Her voice was soothing enough to almost make him confide in her what he has on his mind. “we all promise this doesn't have to include you.”

Barry knew that much; there was no way that they’d put him in danger willingly. Even though they had grim intentions in mind, his friends weren’t monsters. It felt terrible knowing that sometimes, just sometimes, he had to remind himself of that. This all really left Barry contemplating if there really was a good guy and a bad guy in this case. 

He settled on that not being answered just yet.

So that night, as he drove to Spot C alone, Barry vowed to himself that from now on he’d keep an open mind. At least, more open than beforehand. It's been a handful of weeks since they disclosed their secret to them, and it was about time that he showed he was in it for the long run. 

Ross’ words from last night came back to him in a sudden blur just as he pulled up to the weathered and worn out pub:

“I can't see others getting hurt like I can see myself getting hurt... too much for me to handle... don't care about myself enough... Arin yelled at me about it... don't tell anyone about this talk, alright?”

Hearing all of that pour out of Ross over a speakerphone was unexpected. Barry hadn't expected his words to resonate so strongly within him, and now that they have, will he change his actions? Since Arin discussing this with him did little, what could Barry say about it? All the man could do was hope he would be more cautious. Maybe then he could avoid unnecessary injury.

That call last night showed him just how much his friend trusted him. The side of him that wanted nothing more than to kiss it all better was flattered by how much Ross trusted him. The rational side knew that he couldn't make Ross worry about his own thoughts, just like Danny or Suzy. More talk just meant more stress. Barry’s shadier conscience would need to stay a secret.

There was more people than he expected in the bar. Faces that seemed to be identical in lack of valor and relaxed in a way that was unsettling. There were one or two pairs of people who spoke quietly, one of them laughing out loud and startling a consumer at the bar counter. The lights seemed dim for some odd reason, and the floorboards creaked in new ways. Barry walked by each table and chair slowly, as if retaking every mental picture of this place. The bartender smirked as Barry passed by, and he had to resist the urge to glare. 

The heavy door fell shut as he entered the stonewall room. Suzy and Arin were the only ones there at the time. “Hey.” His simple greeting was responded to in the same way. “So, tell me more about this deal you guys have.” 

Both seemed startled by his firm stature about knowing more, but quickly recovered. “Yeah, alright.” Arin took the reigns in giving him more information. “We have enough of the hard stuff to peddle to this guy coming in Spot C. The thing is, his money is necessary to give to our supplier, and we can't let him know our location.” Suzy nodded along before looking over at the leftover duffel bag. “So, if push comes to shove, some shit can't exactly be known.” Arin shrugged as if it was the most natural thing in the universe.

“You sound like Al Capone, you know that?” Barry joked before addressing what he just explained. “When is this all taking place?”

“Sometime after Thanksgiving.” Suzy answered for Arin. There must have been some off look that Barry accidentally gave her, because she defended the choice with, “There’s fewer people willing to try and pull wool over our eyes. Too risky for the season.”

That response didn't really bode well with him. Winter holidays weren't exactly the time Barry had expected drug trafficking to happen, but it's not like he could say anything of it. There were more odds and ends than he thought. He’d just have to suck it up and try to see it from their eyes.

Both of them failed to notice any further discomfort in Barry, and moved on from the topic. “I think we've got more shipments coming from down south after the New Year.” Arin informed them while looking away, most likely in further introspection. Barry never realized just how much Arin had on his plate until now, and now understands a lengthier reason for his sudden crashes on mood outside of work. Everything is making a bit too much sense. “We may need you then, Barry. Drugs like coke are no fuckin’ walk in the park to carry.” He then stretched out his spine. “Last time we had to move them I almost broke my fucking back. Sorry, it's a shit job, but with you it may go faster.”

Barry nodded, imagining them going back and forth from one truck to another in the shroud of a deep early morning. He went to sit on the couch, and was about to ask something when someone opened up the door. Droning voices carried over from the other room into theirs until the two who arrived closed it. 

Who he didn't expect was Holly at the door, Ross standing next to her as well as someone with a healing leg wound could. “Sorry we’re late.” Her words were light and airy, a complete contrast to what this place was. It was evident how much she didn't belong here. 

Suzy waved off their tardiness. “There's no set time.” Then she projected offhandedly, “I'm pretty sure Danny isn't coming, though...”

“He isn't?” Behind her, Arin raised an eyebrow while adjusting the sleeves of his jacket. 

“Nah, he had another thing with Brian.” She told her husband. “They're usually busy around this time, so I don't think our plan’s gonna involve him either...” 

Holly seemed intrigued, but didn't ask questions; their answer may churn her stomach. Instead, she sat next to Barry and crossed her legs, cotton candy hair tickling sensitive spots of her neck and just a hair above her shoulders. Barry always did like the approachable and friendly air that the woman had. It was similar to the way fans saw him. That view of himself... will it change?

Next to her, Ross also took a seat. He looked over at Barry and smiled, subsequently saying to the rest, “Seems like we’ve got quite a holiday in front of us. It's the only damn thing between us getting our supply for next year or not. And if we don't...” Arin shifted, uncomfortable with the notion that they wouldn't succeed. “Well, what's done has to be done.” Ross shrugged, knowing that there was little he could say to influence anyone to change their minds about killing the ones who were coming to Spot C. There was no alternative to negotiate, and no other ideas to ponder.

Barry cracked his knuckles, sighing to himself as the others discussed details he just couldn't be bothered with. Somehow, all this talk about future excitement was boring him. If it because he knew that he wouldn't be a part of it, then his own mind was playing tricks on him. It's like hearing a fight is happening and not seeing it; it just doesn't affect you. Although he tried to listen, Barry couldn't do anything else but get trapped in a snare of his own thoughts. 

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Ross stealing glances at him. That also had no immediate affect on him. At least, that is until a sudden rise and sink in the cushion next to him made him snap back to Earth. Ross and Holly had switched seats. 

“You look bored out of your Goddamn mind.” Ross wasn't far off the bullseye with that guess. “What're you thinking about?”

Looking around, no one else was paying attention to them. His friend had a sly grin on his face, but that was just the usual smile he had adopted. “Not much.” Lying wasn't his favorite pastime, but it would have to do.

Ross caught on immediately. “Is that right? That's not exactly the look of someone who isn't thinking of shit.” He hung his left arm over the couch, around Barry. The man tried his hardest not to show that he noticed. “C’mon, you're usually an open book. It's about all this craziness, isn't it?”

“No, I'm thinking about work. Mainly about if I can be awake enough to finish all of my tasks by tomorrow before the meeting.” 

Although he didn't want to believe him, Ross didn't ask any more questions. First Danny, now Ross? Barry felt guilt settle in like a disgusting film in his mouth, right on his tongue. “I forgot we had one tomorrow.” It was only a moment before Ross spoke once more. “You know, eventually Kevin may realize what's going on.” It was such a random thought that he let out that again, Barry was taken by surprise. No one was listening but him. “I just hope we tell him. We didn't get the chance with you, mainly because of me. I don't want us making a dumb mistake like that again.” Barry nodded along, taking note of how Ross shifted closer to murmur these things only to him. It was obvious that Barry had now become Ross’ confidant. He just wasn't sure if Ross had become his.

“I don't think you- we will.” Barry corrected himself. Ross raised his eyebrows before his grin returned.

He leaned back and said, “Hope that he takes it well. We need him for Steam Train.”

Barry rolled his eyes and let himself relax. “Really, Ross? Way to not be a jackass.” They laughed it off before tuning into what the others were talking about. He felt Holly looking at him, turning towards the others when he caught her. Barry swore that she flashed a smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr: aam5ever

**Author's Note:**

> Tumblr: aam5ever


End file.
